In an event rarer than Halley’s comet, a gutsy young man is all set to skip his own marriage to watch India-Pakistan world cup encounter, better known as ‘the mother of all matches’. A genuine cricket aficionado, Manish, who eats, sleeps and talks cricket, was excruciatingly dejected by the prospect of marrying on this auspicious day, have now recovered quite well to take this tough stand.
Faking News Reporter Mehul Gala telephonically interviewed Manish. He cribbed straightaway, “How can I argue with panditji who always scares me with planet Guru & Shani’s locations? My family is very superstitious and firm believers of muhurat. The only muhurat was on 15th Feb. All planets are at peace on this day, all evil forces will somehow be miraculously vanquished. If I miss this date, I can’t marry until I visit 7 pilgrimage destinations, feed 11,111 ladoos to cows and 500 kg some-weird-gujju-breakfast-dish to crows. It’s a long process, you know.”
marriage
Manish paused to gather his thoughts as he ponder over the horror of missing, what will eventually be, the most watched cricket match in history. With a loud grunt, he continued, “One option was to attend my marriage with headphone on to hear live commentary. But it’s easier said than done. We must be attentive enough to say random ‘Swaha Swaha’ in between, take blessings of every known/unknown person who comes on stage and throw random smiles at random relatives in the crowd as if you’re glad there’re here. As you would understand, plenty of nuances can break your concentration. Also, radio commentators these days are confusing. You need Einstein’s brain to decode what message they’re trying to convey. They excites you when batsman takes a risk free single but would show no emotions when a wicket falls. You will be kept guessing whether to rejoice or regret. Obviously, it was not a good idea.”
Men in blue, invincible so far against their arch-rivals in the quadrennial event, will once again start as favorites. Ardent Indian cricket fans are waiting with bated breath for the match made in heaven. But nobody could be as passionate as Manish. The man went on further, “Broadcasting this match via projector near my marriage stage was under consideration too. But it would dwarf my wedding as every invitee would be glued to the screen. Plus, I don’t want a bunch of crowd cheering loudly backstage, when Priya’s family members are crying during her ceremonial Bidaai. Another stupid idea, got rejected straightaway. ”
To solve the dilemma, one of Manish’s close friend had dramatically entered the scene to save the day. Reportedly, he offered him a strange proposal to become his representative in his marriage. Manish threw some light on him, “Yeah. Sanjay’s offer was tempting. Like a true friend, he offered me to attend all my marriage ceremonies on my behalf. Being a pure Football buff, cricket matches does not excite him. Albeit, he would have to leave early to watch Manchester United match scheduled in the evening. I did some calculations and as it turned out I had to miss the post match analysis show in that case, which is not acceptable. The heart of any Indo-Pak match is the post match show where cricket ‘experts’ Rameez raja and Arun lal makes their presence felt. Their legendary thoughts inspire me. Any India Pakistan match is incomplete without their priceless, though little repetitive and monotonous, comments. I don’t want to miss any live action. Hence, I had to reject Sanjay’s offer.”
Finally, enough was enough for Manish. Defying all odds, he has taken a courageous, bold, never-done-before step. Manish will not attend his marriage, though he would like to continue the event without any hindrance. He concluded the interview by some positive words, “Interstellar has taught me ‘We’ll find the way, we always have.’ Who said one has to attend his own marriage. My next step would be the watershed moment in the wedding world. My marriage will be conducted with my photo or effigy. I thank Priya and her family for their cooperation. Now, it’s all about cricket and the world cup. Bring on India-Pakistan. Bring on the world’s greatest cricket rivalry. And For the sake of Ravi Shashtri, I hope it will go down to the wire.” With ‘Conquest of Paradise’ theme song running in the background, he signs off.
Syeda Karima Shams
Satire however.